22

"I'm not 21 anymore" is my new joke I use when I'm tired. I had my 22nd birthday last week which I decided to work so I can have a Saturday off for the first time in months. It was kinda depressing to start with because my bosses didn't remember it even though it had been written in the diary for ages so they talked to me like crap as usual. But in all fairness they did treat me nicer when they found out. Anyway it was quite a funny day at work because two other customers had a birthday as well, we high fived each other, the "happy birthday" -song was heard several times and everybody was in a good mood. I also got to go home a bit early and take some tips home. Wow!

My present from D was a necklace with a real ruby. (No it's not my birth stone) Obviously I love it and carry it everywhere I go with me. :) He also got me a very nice bottle of wine. My mum sent me loads of sweets and chocolates from Finland. I was a little bit sad she forgot the rye bread but I only have 2.5 months to wait so I'm sure I can make it. I also got money from D's parents and some really nice perfume from a girl at work. I'm impressed somebody managed to find one that I really like. Then again 90% of girls probably know cosmetics and girly things better than I do.

On my Saturday off we went to the Tropical Butterfly House near Sheffield. Highly recommended! It is not expensive, something like £8-9 per person and there is loads to see: butterflies, exotic birds, birds of prey, meerkats, lemurs, marmosets, crocodiles, giant tortoises, otters, black swans, farm animals, well, all sorts. I really enjoyed that. In the evening we went to a really nice pub for a meal and a few drinks. After that we were supposed to go to town, go to a few more pubs and have a late night. For some reason I haven't been myself recently though and I was way too tired by 9 pm. and we had to catch a bus back. Booo! It was still a nice birthday and it was lovely to spend more time with D.

Don't read this bit if you're not interested in people's body functions. Since last week's Monday I've been having dizzy spells every now and again and alcohol seems to make it worse. I've also had vertigo twice, you know when the room starts spinning in your eyes and my stomach has been quite upset for a few weeks and either doesn't work at all or is too active. Most days I'm really swollen, so much that I get pains (air) and especially wearing my leathers for D's motorbike is quite interesting. I'm also tired a lot and don't get much done. I was just wondering if anybody knows what could cause this. I thought maybe my blood pressure's low but I had it checked yesterday and it was fine, 111/ 73. Maybe I'm sensitive to something I eat. Or maybe I'm lactose intolerant! I might actually try and drink a glass of milk and see what happens. Anyway, sorry about this bit.

One of my bosses surprised me yesterday by asking what my plans are for the future. It might have been easier to answer if I actually knew exactly what they were but I don't. Well I do but nothing is set in stone. I told him that after my apprenticeship I need evening work on a few nights a week so I can start thinking about going to university. Then he surprised me even more by saying that he wants to keep me there because "I follow him and he can trust me." But he wants somebody there full time. Maybe I could work  full time for a year, save money and then go to uni? I told him to let me know by May for sure so I can start looking elsewhere if they can't afford to keep me there. I don't knoooooow.. In some ways I hate it there but with a normal wage it would be a lot more motivating and in a way it is nice to be in a place where you know your job.

There is another good thing about my work place and managers. They are offering me a free sommelier course. This means that I have to go to the restaurant on one of my days off for a few hours but I do believe it is a really good opportunity and will look good on my CV. There is a lot to learn though! I find the terminology quite challenging. Well, I find it all quite challenging. To get the qualification we're gonna have to pass this test and a big part of it is blind tasting. I'm really going to struggle with that. The amount of information we have to learn in  14 weeks used to take 3 years so it is very very compact. But if I can do this I will be very proud of myself!

I can't wait to finish my apprenticeship.. Ps. our flights to Finland have been booked!

Sorry it's been a while, I've been quite busy and stressed. When I moved to England I really struggled to find work. I worked in a factory packing cosmetics for a few weeks during a busy Christmas period in 2012 and volunteered in a charity shop for a few months in 2013 but I was reaaally struggling without English references or work experience in England. I sort of got desperate and since I mainly got interviews for apprenticeships I started applying more and more for them simply because I didn't have any money left at all. I couldn't get any benefits and I'd spent all my savings. I will write about all this another time because I have a lot to say but now I just wanted to tell you how I ended up doing an apprenticeship in food & beverage service in an Italian restaurant. I was desperate.

Let me tell you how it's been so far. The first months were quite different. The place was owned by another person who actually cared about his staff in some ways. He was a lot like a fatherly figure who always remembered to ask how I was and if everything was ok. He would see it as soon as I walked in if something was wrong or if I didn't feel well. He used to join us when we had a barbeque or went paint balling. We were a very happy team and did loads together. Sometimes when it wasn't busy we would play hide and seek in the restaurant with the chefs and we always used to have a laptop in the kitchen and everybody took turns choosing which song to play next on Youtube. We still had problems, we didn't have contracts, we got paid late, I was used as a pot washed way too often and not really trained enough.

Unfortunately the old owner decided to sell the restaurant to two younger men, Italian as well. The place couldn't feel more different. They don't care about the staff. They don't want you to enjoy your job. They treat you like you're a dog. Everything you hear from them is negative and if they're not in a good mood you get told off for stupid little things all night until you feel like you cannot do anything right. They think they are allowed to come and touch you in ways that I find uncomfortable, give you kisses or push you around. They think they can tell me to fuck off when they feel like they want to be alone. They argue with each other all the time. I am not allowed to talk with other staff anymore. Especially not with the chefs who are my best friends in the work place. I am not allowed to stop for a moment to think if I'm not sure about something. "DON'T THINK JUST DO".. We are supposed to be robot dogs who smile at the customers but are not allowed to enjoy the work. Usually if I smile at work one of my managers asks me "why are you smiling?"... Do I need a reason? Usually he wants to know if it's because I've had sex last night. How is it his business anyway. So far the head chef and two waitresses have quit. Everybody is leaving and I have to stay for another 3 months. But I need to finish what I've started!  And after it's over we are going to FINLAND :DD My brother is getting married and I will see my youngest nephew for the first time. I cannot wait.

Another thing I wanted to tell everybody.. My cappuccinos are getting better! The other night I tried to make a cappuccino and I asked one of my managers if I have improved. His answer was "no".. Very blunt. I asked him what was wrong with it and he ignored me and walked away. I am supposed to be trained in that place, not washing shitty toilet seats, trained! This makes me angry because they just use me as cheap work force. I would like to be learning something when I'm getting paid the ridiculous £2.68 an hour, when it always comes late and when they steal our tips. Well I thought they can't stop me from learning this. I spent a long time on youtube watching people make cappuccinos and lattes and the next time I went to work I bought my own milk and steamed it until it was perfect. I still can't do latte art but at least they taste nice. :)

Painting, love and shopping

Painting

Painting is one of the only hobbies I have but I haven't felt like doing it for months. On last Thursday I was in the right mood and decided to continue working on something I started ages ago. It didn't go like I planned it though. First I couldn't find my paints.. I spend over half an hour looking for them. Then I realised I have run out of some of the colours I needed so I had to go to town. It was actually quite nice, the sun was out for the first time in a long time and I found a nice set of Galeria acrylics. I also bought a new reflective collar for our cat Nero and a paradise mix -dried fruits. When I came home it was already late in the afternoon but I wanted to do some painting since I had done so much work to get that far. I started painting and opened the paradise mix. A couple of minutes later I tasted paint in my mouth. The paint on my fingers hadn't dried and by that time my hand had been in the bag and my mouth several times. I went to the toilet to clean my mouth very carefully trying to spit all the red out of my mouth. There was more than I realised. With a clean mouth I returned back to the living room only to realise that Nero has walked over my palette and he had already managed to walk on the fitted carpets, sofa, kitchen worktops.. Well, everywhere. After doing my best to clean the paint up I returned to my painting and managed to work on it for a couple of hours. For some reason I haven't been in the mood since.

Love

It was Valentine's day last Friday and because my English man is an important character in my blog I thought I'd tell you how we spent it. I was working. The restaurant where I work was fully booked, my managers were in a horrible mood and I was told to fuck off as soon as I arrived. For the rest of the evening I tried to avoid my bosses and looked forward to going home. I finished after midnight and D had bought me a big beautiful rose, chocolates, a card and sour apple Cactus Jack's. We "cooked" a frozen pizza, had a few drinks and managed to have quite a good night after all. We are both stressed and tired with our jobs, money and all that but I do feel lucky to have him. He is a caring boyfriend but also my best friend.

Shopping

D's birthday is coming so I went shopping yesterday. I can't tell you what I bought him because he reads this blog and it's a bit silly anyway. But I will show you my Yoshi t-shirt and Nero with his new collar. :) 

Foreigner, Immigrant, Alien.

I'm sorry it's been a few days since I wrote last time but I've been busy playing Skyrim, watching Game of Thrones, working and stressing. Anyway, I've been wanting to write about what it feels like to be a foreigner in England. Everybody has an opinion about immigrants coming to their country and taking their jobs but now I am that person coming to someone elses country. I have not been attacked directly or people haven't told me to go back to where I came from face to face but I suppose being a foreigner is a part of my identity when I'm in England and it is not always positive.

Racist experiences

My racist experiences have been mainly very indirect. I do hear people complain about foreigners on the news, on Facebook, on the bus etc. There was a time when Job Centre Plus sent me to this info meeting for young unemployed people and everybody had to introduce themselves and tell everybody about their worst job ever and why they didn't like it. The guy before me mentioned a chocolate factory and said he didn't like working there because there were so many foreigners. Then it was my turn.... It wasn't a nice moment because I knew that opening my mouth means letting everybody know I am different. I wonder if the guy would have said the same thing if his turn had been after me and not before. Anyway, I tend to worry about things and take things personally. If I see a skinhead I do my very best to avoid speaking to anyone so he can't hear my accent. I know, I'm paranoid. Other than that it's just mainly the way people treat me or speak to me. Some people talk to me slowly and loud like I'm brain dead, some people's friendliness just seems to go down a level when I reply to them with an accent. I work as a waitress and get some people talk to me like I'm a child.. It could be for a number of reasons, not just because I'm not English. I am also short, blond, female, look very young and well.. work as a waitress. I wish people didn't judge each other without actually knowing anything about them but I suppose everybody does that.. I do it when I see somebody who looks like a skinhead.

Good experiences

I love it when somebody smiles at me and says "Welcome to England!" I love it when I'm accepted as an equal. Many people say to me that they have nothing against me because I speak English. I think the problem with foreigners in a work place is that they speak with each other in a language you can't understand and when you don't know what they are talking about, you start thinking they are talking about you. I haven't met other Finnish people in England so I don't have a community, especially not at work.

I love it when people tell me everything they know about Finland and tell me if they have been there before. Last Saturday I even met somebody who worked behind a bar and surprised me by greeting me in Finnish when he heard where I come from! Usually people who travel don't judge others so much.

I would also like to share this experience I had last week on the bus. I usually wear headphones to show people I don't want to talk and obviously because I'm listening to music. Well, this old scruffy man sat next to me and started poking me. I turned to look at him and he asked me if there was brown on his nose. I told him where the brown was and he looked happy about the help. He showed me the snuff he had been using and wanted me to smell it because it was supposed to smell like menthol. Then he asked me where I come from because I have an accent. I told him and he was genuinely interested and asked questions. After this he wanted to shake hands and said "Nice to meet you Millie, take care." I felt really happy about being accepted by this scruffy man who probably was lonely. He was like me, different.

Beautiful England

 Last time I wrote about things that I found weird or different about England. This time I would like to show you some of the pictures I took during my first few months in the country. Every time someone asks me if I like England or what I like about England I tell them I love the countryside and the nature. That's definitely my favourite thing about the country.

I find it difficult to get the pictures and the text to look smart so I gave up trying.. These pictures are from Chatsworth, Scarborough, Whitby, Bakewell and Derwent. Please don't copy them without asking me. Thanks!

Weird England

It wasn't my first time abroad but since England was my potential next home I paid a lot of attention to things that I found different or weird. I wanted to write them down and my boyfriend (I'll call him D) gave me a little book for the purpose. Unfortunately we have moved house twice since I did it and have lost the book but I will try and remember everything I can. It would be cool if you could tell me what you found funny or weird when you visited England (or Finland or any other country) for the first time!

Here's a few:

• The fact that strangers talk to you on the bus and say hi when you walk past them on the street. In general people are good at small talk and can have a conversation with any stranger
• The fact that nobody rinses the pots after washing them
• The fitted carpets that fill the whole floor... How do you keep them clean???
• Ok I knew the English like their tea but it's quite funny how they act shocked when I say "No thanks, I've already had a cup of tea today"... "JUST ONE??"
• You can buy spirits in super markets
• The amount of drugs
• Free birth control and sooooo many teen pregnancies??? 
• Horrible food like beans on toast and Yorkshire buddings, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes and sandwiches with ANY filling. Honest, they put chips, crisps, anything in a sandwich.
• "It's snowing, let's all go to Tesco and buy food for a month/ can't go to work/ buses aren't running...."
• Because I have an accent I must be Polish
• In Finland we have holes in the corners of duvet covers and in England they don't and it makes changing the sheets a lot slower.
• "What do you mean women have to be 25 years old to see a gynecologist??"
• Some places still pay wages in cash and cheques
• Moaning and fighting publicly on Facebook.

I do not mean to make this sound negative at all. I think the English countryside is breathtakingly beautiful. I think it's cool how people are more sociable and seem positive and always smiling. Customer service is often very good and most people have given me a warm welcome. I think I will be adding things to the list when I remember more. Thanks!

- Millie

The First Post

I suppose you people want to know how it all started. It's not the text book love story (is that even a word?) but it's my story.

Ok, here it comes: we met online. My boyfriend is so ashamed about the fact that it's not "natural" that he doesn't dare to tell his parents or people at work the truth. So let's hope these people never find this blog and recognize me. But noooo, no. It was not a naughty site. It was not world of warcraft. We were simply learning languages. He wanted to learn Finnish. I started teaching him, we thought Skype could be a good idea... Well you may guess what happens next. We liked each other.

We waited 7 months until we met live for the first time. I still think it was a good "test" for us in a way. If we could do it then surely that would mean something? The day we finally met I had my last final exam: advanced maths. I suppose it is possible I was nervous that day. 6 hours for the exam, one hour between the exam and catching the train, 6 hours on the train which was late. I had forgotten to get cash out for the bus to the airport where I was supposed to meet him. I panicked and phoned my mum in tears. The nice couple sat next to me gave me 4 euros for the bus. YESS, my plan worked! Thank you beautiful people!

Eventually I arrived in Helsinki-Vantaa airport.. I just needed to find him. "What would I say.. Should I hug him when I see him? What if I look different than on webcam? What if it's really awkward?" I had many questions on my mind but surprisingly once I got to the airport I wasn't that nervous anymore. And when I finally saw him I just ran to him, hugged him really hard and he almost fell over.. But yes, he was cute. :)

I'm not saying I didn't feel shy or awkward first but we were kinda busy finding the bus to Helsinki and then finding our hostel. But I don't want to make this too long so let's just say that we had a really great 11 days. We went to pubs, we went bowling, snowboarding, skiing, shopping, cinema etc.. Well you don't have to know everything. But by the time it was time for him to leave I felt like I'd known him forever. It was quite sad when he left..

Anyways, next time it was my turn. We had to wait another 5 months.. Not easy.. Not easy at all. But we made it and I would say it was the best day of my life when I met him again at Gatwick airport. I had never been to England before so it was quite exciting. Not just the fact that I was with my boyfriend but also being in a foreign country. I was supposed to stay for a month but I sort of ended up cancelling my flight back to Finland and just stayed.

My next post will be about all the things I found weird about England.

Sorry if I've made any mistakes.

- Millie

A couple of pictures taken when D came to see me in Finland for the first time. I wish I could upload pictures with faces but I want to remain anonymous for now. And my shadow looks fat but I was probably wearing some really warm clothes.