...and then I met an English man.: alcohol

Unfortunately it has been a long time since I last wrote anything. After our trip to Finland I haven't been in the mood or even remembered to do it. The holiday was mainly good, we were lucky with weather and my big brother is a married man now. I think my favourite day was when we went horse riding near a national park called Koli and after went to see the landscapes with a friend. It felt so good to speak Finnish and to speak with a girl. About girly things! I have always wanted to take D horse riding so it was really cool.

There's been ups and downs. I guess I've been most worried about D's drinking. He hates his job and it makes him unhappy so he drinks. I feel bad because I can't make him happy enough to make it worth it. Or help enough with finding a new job. Many times I feel like I am not enough or maybe if I was different he would be happier. When he drinks I become a nail biting nagger who wants him to slow down and drink a glass of water. Recently it has been a lot better though and he is really into photography. He is getting really good too! Today we have known each other for 4 years so we will celebrate it with a film and some prosecco. On Sunday we are going out for a meal as well. Can't wait! I do love him so much. :)

Work has been quite stressful because nothing there is organized and I don't get a weekly rota so I'm basically always available and waiting for a phone call that doesn't come many enough times a week. I also lost my chef friend for a few months because he had to go to prison. Now I have a pen pal in prison! Anyway, I sent my CV out to a few places about three weeks ago and guess what...? I'VE GOT A NEW JOB!! Full time, weekly rotas, closer to home. I feel really stressed though. I've been working my notice this week and tomorrow is my last shift at the old place but facing this new challenge just scares me more than I want to admit. I need to learn to carry more plates and I need to learn to silver serve. I'll be trained behind the bar and reception as well. I am so crap at spelling names though... And phone calls still scare me too much. I'm sure this was a good move though. I am proud of myself. I just hope they like me.

I also passed my sommelier course and received my apprenticeship and NVQ certificates. Hmm, what else.. Nero is good. I have been seeing a girl from work in my free time which is awesome. I want to start saving up for driving lessons.. And DSLR.. and a holiday.. and a house deposit.. and and and..

More next time!

Ok so since I am home early on a Saturday night and I need to wait for my wine to get cold in the fridge, I have a good moment to write on here. Today we had a lot of staff in at work so you would expect everything to go fine. Well, it didn't. It was one of those days when you make one mistakes and the domino effect happens. Lots of things went wrong, we weren't organised, the manager was in a bad mood and we had a new girl in who felt nervous on her first shift. Because we had too much staff in (rare) the manager said one of us has to go home. The other girls told me to go. I felt guilty but because I was really tired and stressed I didn't say no. I was just about to leave when my waitress friend told me the new girl is upstairs crying because the manager told her off for putting the knives and forks on the table on wrong sides. I went to see if she was alright and to tell her the manager is like that with everybody and has made all waitresses cry. I told her he does it because he is stressed and that eventually you learn to ignore him and his mean comments. Then the third waitress came to the same room to talk to her as well and just when she was going to go back, the manager came in and was really angry because none of us was working and sent us all home! Early night then.. Let's see what happens next week. I don't think I will see this new girl again.

Me and D have both been quite tired and stressed recently and as usual we haven't had a lot of time together this week. We have been arguing over the smallest things and hurt each others' feelings which I feel really bad about. I am also trying to lose a couple of kilos before we go to Finland so I've been hungry and grumpy, D has been tired because of work and unfortunately people seem to be meanest to the people they care about the most so... Well, it wasn't the happiest week but it's almost over now. Now we are good though and D is cooking burgers for us and cuddling with the cat and damn is that the most lovely sight in the world.

But! I have been meaning to write about this horse race I went to last Saturday. The day didn't start too well. I had been looking forward to wearing a dress for ages but the morning was cold and grey so I felt disappointed but decided to put jeans and boots on instead. When we went to meet the rest of the group I saw that I was the only girl who wasn't wearing a dress. All other girls had done their hair and chosen pretty dresses and shoes to go with them. Then the sun came out. I felt so horrible and different that I felt like crying. I don't understand why I reacted so strongly, I didn't know I cared so much. But once we got to the race course I was happy again. :) We lost all the money we bet on horses but that's the idea isn't it? Unfortunately I missed a few races in the pub and fish & chips queues but I did enjoy the day. And at the end of the day I was the winner because the evening was really cold and we had to wait for a taxi for an hour and all the other girls were freezing and somebody said to me she would give anything to have a pair of jeans.

I am also quite getting into wines now. I mean the drinking bit, I love buying a bottle I never tried before but I still don't have time for the books..... Ooops. I really need to start reading. But it is difficult! All them foreign words and every country has different rules and I have no idea how to tell if a wine is full bodied or medium bodied or if it goes with greasy fish or less greasy fish. A couple of weeks ago I bought a bottle that was on offer and when I went home and opened the bottle I realized it was badly oxidized. It smelt sweet and the colour was brown when it was supposed to be a white wine. I should have taken it back but never did. Oh well. But here's some pictures of all the wines I have bought since I wrote on here last time. Once I know a bit more about what I'm talking about I will maybe write something about them as well. But my new favourite red wine is Rioja. At least the ones I have tried so far have been absolutely beautiful.